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For all the cows..
Beginner's Guide (PDF file)
Being An Adult
Saturday. 11.19.11 6:02 am
There are many measures of adulthood.

You could say that someone is an adult based on their age, based on their experiences, based on their salary, whether or not they own a house.

I think the true measure of whether or not someone has become a responsible adult is whether or not they have some fucking stamps.

Stamps. You need them to send things, like your bills, or letters to your friends. The thing about stamps is that you don't know exactly when you're going to need one, and the post office has stupid hours so you can't always run out at the last minute and buy them. Having stamps therefore requires an extraordinary exercise in the very adult practice of "foresight".

Envisioning that I will at some point require a stamp, I take time out of my day during normal business hours to purchase some fucking stamps. I then put the stamps in a place where I will be able to find them, like my wallet. My desk drawer would also be an excellent place to keep stamps, unless I plan on buying postcards on a whim, or giving stamps to my immature, stampless friends. I think if a person goes into a bank and asked to be given a loan, the first thing the loan officer should ask is whether or not the person has any stamps. This will be an excellent proxy for whether or not they will be late on their payments, especially because a lot of late payments will inevitably be caused by the fact that the person can't find a stamp.

Sure, the internet is taking over everything. You pay your bills online. You write your friends emails instead of letters. You could say that stamps are going the way of the dodo. Only very rarely, maybe every two months or so, do you ever require a stamp. You see, it's just so seldom that you use it that you forget to go to the post office to get some. You probably have some lying around somewhere, but it's been a while and the postage has probably gone up since then, and you probably don't have any of those little one and two cent stamps that allow you to adjust the postage amount.

It's ok.


You can have one of mine.



I always have a bunch of them in my wallet.



Recommended by 5 Members
randomjunk Amelie peanutmelon dont-see Midnight
7 Comments.


I, too, keep a supply of stamps in my wallet. Very important to keep them handy. Also a great way to impress people.
» Amelie on 2011-11-19 04:41:02

I like the way you write. Thank you for your insightful, funny post.
» dont-see on 2011-11-26 02:57:12

lol too funny and true. My husband and I have been in that situation where we needed stamps and didnt have any. Now he always keeps a bunch of them in his car just in case.
» Midnight on 2011-12-02 10:23:10

My boyfriend not too long ago took a stamp out from his car and I was like yep... he's an adult and told him about your post and he laughed.
» dont-see on 2011-12-06 10:09:58

Beautiful. I'm going to print this out and mail it to a friend...oh SHIT *runs to find stamps*
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